When you think of success in adulthood, what do you think of? The answer to this question may be different for everyone, but there are likely some common themes that arise. A successful adult can function independently and plan ahead; has self-control during triggering situations; can create a healthy, daily routine and remember important details and tasks; problem solve and goal plan effectively; and can be flexible and adapt to challenges or changes within their environment. All these skills are what conventionally and in a foundational way define a “successful adult,” also known as executive function skills.
So how do we start building this foundation in the early years? Firstly, it’s important to know that we aren’t born with executive function skills. They are built over time, through practice and experience. The part of the brain that is responsible for executive functioning is the prefrontal cortex, and research tells us that it isn’t fully developed until our mid to late twenties. This creates amazing opportunities for you to model, coach, and guide your child daily so that they can develop these essential skills.
The first step is to identify your child’s strengths and lagging skills. Remember that these vary between children of the same age and differ for every age and stage of development. Here are some general questions that could indicate some lagging skills in the following areas:
Impulse control. Does your child have difficulties with stopping to think before they act? Do they often say things that they don’t mean? Do they often touch or take things without asking? Do they react quickly and sometimes aggressively (either verbally or physically?)
Planning. Is your child able to remember and follow basic household routines?
Emotional regulation. Does your child have big outbursts for long periods of time? Do they get stressed or triggered easily?
Self-monitoring. Can your child set small goals for themselves? Can they monitor the progress of those goals?
Organizing. Are they able to keep their space organized when prompted? Can they sort items by categorizing? Do they communicate clearly (both verbally and written)? Do they have difficulties managing their time? Are they always starting things late or leaving things until the last minute?
Problem-solving. Can your child effectively communicate during a problem or conflict? Can they come up with reasonable solutions? Can they understand others’ perspectives once they are announced?
If the answer is “yes” to any of the above questions, your child may be experiencing a lagging skill in a particular area. The great thing is, with exposure and practice executive skills can be built and strengthened!
There are several tools, tips, and strategies that can help build or strengthen executive function skills:
Establish clear household routines. Involve children in the planning. This helps build foundational skills for planning ahead and task initiation.
Use visual strategies such as visual schedules, calendars, and checklists. These visual aides can support children with planning, organizing, and time management skills.
Use timers and alarms. Timers and alarms are excellent visual and auditory prompts and are great for practicing task initiation, time management, and for signaling transitions.
Practice impulse control. Play various turn-taking games with your kids. Games like “Simon Says,” Freeze Dance,” and “Red Light, Green Light” can also support and strengthen the skill of impulse control.
Practice regulation strategies daily. This can include big body movement, deep breathing, yoga, or squeezing hands.
Guide them through perspective taking during conflict. Help them understand how everyone in the situation might be thinking and feeling before they attempt to brainstorm solutions.
Learn and teach your children about executive function skills. An excellent book that we often recommend is Smart, But Scattered by Peg Dawson and Richard Guare.
Don’t be afraid to seek professional support if needed! Visit childrenslink.ca for some additional behavioral and psychological support.
As you explore ways to identify and strengthen your child’s executive function skills, you may find that you’ve identified your own areas of strength and weakness. The strategies you put in place will help all family members build and strengthen these essential life skills.
Lara Higgins, BA and Joanna Piekarski, M. Ed, R. Psych, are child mental health advocates who started Psyched About Kids (PAK) in 2016 because they are obsessed with human potential! PAK empowers parents with science-backed knowledge, strategies, and tools to solve our most pressing parenting issues today and make life a little easier, along with ongoing support to implement the desired change. Small actions over time can have an unimaginable impact on child growth and development for lifelong health and wellness. Learn more at psychedaboutkids.com.
See our related articles:
Calgary’s Child Magazine © 2024 Calgary’s Child
