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No Fail Tips for Planning the Perfect Home Party

Over the past 16 years, with five children of various ages, I have organized a total of 64 birthday parties.

Due to the rising cost of outside-the-home parties, we have had many home parties that were just as fun, inexpensive, and customized for the birthday child’s desired theme. Involving the birthday child also gives them a valuable appreciation for the effort required to host a party.

Here are some tips for hosting a home birthday party:

•   Ask for help. You can always use an extra pair of adult hands. Round up the older children to write invitations, shop for supplies, prepare food and decorations and treat bags. They can also serve refreshments and help with games.

•   Keep a bucket of warm soapy water and a cloth handy for spills, throw up, and potty accidents.

•   Serve tiny portions of food and slivers of cake. Children are often too excited to eat.

•   Serve lots of drinks, but in small portions. Children are always more thirsty than hungry.

•   Parties for children ages one to three are really for the parents who love to chat while keeping careful eyes open for their little sweeties, so have some adult refreshments on hand too.

•   Parties for children ages four and up, begin to learn social graces – how to accept unwanted presents, how to share, take turns at games. As a hostess, you have helped them with the skills if parents are not staying.

•   It’s the certainty of treat bags that counts, not the quality. One toy and one candy treat is adequate.

•   Time. One hour for under two years of age, two hours for under five years and three hours for under 10 years.

•   Don’t clean BEFORE the party! No one will notice.

•   Pack away all breakables, and provide unstructured group toys for children under four. Also, you could set up stations such as paper and markers, paint, or playdough, and have little groups of children work at one station for 15 minutes and then switch as a group. Have an adult sit at each station so one of the guests doesn’t color your bathroom while you are serving cake.

•   Save your baby gates to partition off bedrooms, halls and other off-limits places.

•   Encourage kids to watch the cake and gift opening but don’t force them to. A great way to decide whose gift to open first is to use the months of guest’s birthdays. January birthday guests go first, then February, etc. For cake serving, start with December birthday guests and go backwards.

Five Commandments for Party Guests:

•   Don’t bring extra siblings or children unless permission is granted before hand.

•   Warn your child that a treat bag may or may not appear.

•   RSVP on the deadline or before. Nothing is more frustrating to an organizer then having to phone people who don’t RSVP. If you say that you are coming, please show up! If you say that you’re not coming, don’t show up unannounced at the last minute!

• Be cheerful and participate in all the activities in the spirit of the party.

• If you are an adult staying with your child, be helpful. This is not the time for a heart-to-heart chat with the party hostess. Save that for after the party.

Five Commandments for Party Host/Hostess:

•   Don’t ask for the gift receipt so you can return the gift. Say a sincere thank you, and if it’s not suitable, give it to a sibling, a charity, or try to return it without a receipt or even re-gift it.

•   Disclose full information about the party – If the party is half at home and half somewhere else, the parents need to know where the children are going, who is supervising, who is driving, how many seat belts are available, and what the guest is required to bring.

•   Don’t state preferred presents or money. It’s okay to mention desirables if specifically asked.

•   Try to avoid competitive games. Cooperative games are more fun for all the guests and build friendships. Piñatas often encourage aggressive behavior.

•   Encourage your child to write thank-you notes for the parents who were not present. It’s good practice and a nice touch.


Judy, Peaceful Parenting, Family and Relationship Expert, Speaker (Professional Member of CAPS) and Author of Discipline Without Distress: 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery. She can be reached at or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. "Peace In The World Begins In The Home."

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