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Handling homesickness … Should you let them come home?

Summer is a time for children to explore passions, interests, and do something other than sit at a desk. Camps are a popular summer option for children; new skills are learned, friendships are made, and there’s lots of fun to be had. To make the most of any kind of camp experience, it’s important to plan for success. Planning is even more important for overnight camp.

Overnight camp can be both exciting and a little bit scary. It is an immersive experience with a lot of unfamiliarity. The child doesn’t know what to expect, who they will meet, what the rules are, if people will be nice to them, or what to do if they are missing home. Fun can quickly turn to stress if children are not ready. The more we plan and prepare our children for camp, the more comfortable and ready they will feel.

Most people will experience homesickness at some point in their lives. It’s normal. Overnight camp may be the first time for many children. Parents may feel helpless in how to handle it. The best way to get ahead of this is through preparation and patience. Anticipate and plan for challenges, including how to handle homesickness if it comes up.

 

The decision:

  • Involving your child in the decision to go to camp gives them some control of what’s happening. Review options, look at pictures, read descriptions, and ask for their thoughts. Get your child excited about what’s coming up.

 

Before leaving home:

  • Camp life is community living and independence. Making the bed, helping with clean up, keeping belongings organized, and taking turns are things your child will experience at overnight camp. Build these skills at home and school throughout the year.
  • Practicing some of the skills the child will need at camp, such as using a flashlight at night, will make the transition smoother.
  • Practice sleepovers with family and friends.
  • Try day camps where children experience new environments and structures.
  • Children will not have ready access to technology. Talk about this and practice time without it.
  • Rehearsing different scenarios, such as meeting new friends, helps children settle into a new situation when they have practiced and previewed possible stress points.
  • Homesickness tends to surface at downtimes, like bedtime and between activities. Talk to your child about reaching out to a counselor and asking for help if they are missing home. If your child has a plan, it’s easier to know what to do.

 

Packing to go:

  • Involve your child in packing. Help them make a list of things to take so they have items important to them and they know what they have. Doing this ahead of time ensures important things are not left behind, which can otherwise increase stress.
  • Bringing a favorite item such as a stuffed toy can provide comfort.
  • Taking a journal and favorite book for something to keep their mind occupied in quiet moments may be helpful.
  • If you decide to tuck a note in your child’s bag, make it positive and encouraging. Share your excitement for all the fun they are going to have.

 

If your child is feeling homesick and calls:

  • Talk to your child. Listen and be supportive.
  • Take the time to find out what is going on. Ask about camp. Learn more about what is causing the distress.
  • Provide reassurance. Let them know you know it’s hard to be away, but it’s normal. Talk about coping strategies together.
  • Focus on the positive parts of camp.
  • Get your child to smile. End the call on a positive note.

 

After the call:

  • Connect with camp staff. Discuss your child’s homesickness. Ask for their input, since counselors are trained to manage homesickness. Stay in contact with the camp to receive updates on your child’s adjustment and wellbeing.
  • If you’re thinking about taking your child out of camp early, consider the impact. Leaving early may impact your child’s view of camp as an overall experience and their sense of independence. It can even reinforce the feeling of homesickness. Explore solutions before making a final decision.
  • While homesickness is common, there is a small percentage of children who experience severe homesickness. If your child does need to come home, celebrate the success that they did have without focusing on what they may have missed out on.
  • The decision to bring a child home should be made in consideration of the child’s individual needs with the guidance of camp professionals and trusting your own parenting instincts. 
  • Above all, your child’s happiness and wellbeing are the most important outcomes to reach for.

 

Camp can be a wonderful opportunity to develop independence, try new things, explore interests, make new friends, and have new experiences. To make camp the success it can be, good planning and preparation are key. Happy camping!

 

Nicole is a registered psychologist in the province of Alberta. She has been working with children and families for over 30 years in various capacities. Nicole holds a permanent teaching certificate and has an understanding of classroom functioning. Nicole is passionate about supporting children and families in achieving success and dignity in their lives through assessment, intervention, and collaborative approaches.

 

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