My daughter has epilepsy. At just four and a half years old, she has experienced more than her fair share of doctor’s visits, medical tests and hospital stays. She has had so many; in fact, she has developed an anxiety about doctors. We never had any issues with this before. She used to love seeing her pediatrician. She never cried when receiving vaccinations. Or was uneasy about being examined. She once even faked being sick because she wanted to visit her doctor’s office.
Since her first seizure at three, she has had multiple blood draws, a CAT scan, three EEGs, an EKG and two MRIs under sedation. In addition to her regular pediatrician, she has a cardiologist, neurologist and has seen many doctors, medical technicians and nurses. I understand why she no longer enjoys going. But I have discovered ways to help ease her anxiety and avoid trauma - if not drama.
www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/index.aspx shares more on helping toddlers in stages like this, but here are tips for helping lessen your child’s anxiety about seeing the doctor:
Set the stage
I do my best to prepare my child before each doctor’s visit for what will be happening. I am honest and forthcoming, not to add to her anxiety but to help lessen it. I have found the more she knows about what to expect, the better she does. I describe procedures and show pictures whenever available. I share every detail I can think of and answer any questions she has.
Validate your child’s feelings
The fear a child can feel about visiting the doctor is something you may or may not be able to relate to. But it is important to remember it is very real to them. Naming and acknowledging the feelings and letting them know it is okay can go a long way.
Help your child feel in control
I do not speak for my child at her doctor’s appointments. She is the patient. Of course, there are times I need to contribute to the conversation, and I always have my own questions. But I allow her to ask her questions first, and answer the doctor’s questions directly. I am not a go-between. This helps her feel she has some level of control and develop positive relationships with her doctors.
Create the best possible environment
Does your child have a favorite lovey? Make sure you don’t forget it. Is there a song you can sing (or play on a device) to help calm your child? What about watching a show or playing a game on a device? Distractions can go a long way toward making the experience more positive.
Offer something to look forward to
I’m not talking about bribing your child. But I always try to plan something following the appointment she can look forward to. An activity or craft project she has wanted to do. Lunch at a restaurant she likes. Or, if she needs to be quiet for the rest of the day, a movie and popcorn on the couch. I let her know there will be something positive happening once she gets through the visit.
My most important tip is to remember it is often harder on you than on your child. Even if there are tears and screaming, or you have to physically restrain her, once the moment has passed, she is likely to forget it and move on. Kids are amazingly resilient.
The emotion will tend to remain with you longer. I know it does with me. I try hard not to have my child sense my anxiety. She has enough to deal with. But I do find at night, once she is asleep, my emotions from the experience come out. And I let them.
Elizabeth blogs about her struggles and successes as a writer and a mom at www.thewriterrevived.com and is a guest contributor to www.whattoexpect.com. She is the author of Cacophony: How The Mommy Wars Have Reached New Heights Online and Today’s Mom Simply Cannot Win, which she is currently working to get published. In March 2011, she launched 'The Mom Pledge', an online campaign to eradicate cyberbullying among moms, www.efloraross.com. You can connect with her on Twitter @efloraross, Facebook, www.facebook.com/efloraross and Google +, www.plus.google.com/104616607110165374636/about
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