The holidays are coming, and for many parents, that means adding even more to your schedule. When we are overwhelmed, no one flourishes. By setting some clear intentions for the next couple of months, you can decrease the overwhelm and maybe even start some habits that will continue to pay off!
Make time for you.
Grab your planner and schedule some recurring appointments with yourself. Whether it’s five minutes to breathe, a daily 20 minutes to walk around the block, or a quick dance party in your living room, you know that you’ll feel better when you’re done, even if you didn’t want to start.
While you’re there, book off three or four evenings each week in December. Just mark them in the calendar. If someone invites you to a festive occasion, you can say, “Oh, I’ve got something booked that night – let me see whether I can move it.” If you want to move it, do. If not, you’ve got a built-in way of saying no. You likely won’t decline the kids’ school concert, but that’s okay because the nights on either side of that will stay booked for a night in.
Get clear about spending, so you don’t waste time worrying about it.
For many, talking about money (or even thinking about money) can feel uncomfortable. I know you can handle a little discomfort. Consider the money that’s coming in over the next couple of months and decide how much you can spend without carrying a ton of debt into 2025. Once you know, you know. From there, you can get clear about where you are going to choose to spend this money. Is a family activity more fun than some toys that will be broken or forgotten in a few days? Thinking about this upfront means you are less likely to back yourself into a corner by buying too much or doing things last minute.
Knowing how to talk about a budget can be helpful too. “We’re choosing to spend our money on this instead of that this year. We can put it on a list to consider for next year, though.”
Stop, drop and thank.
This is a great idea to do on your own or with your kids. Stop what you are doing – or do it in the car on the way to sports practice. Dropping is optional, but sometimes, everyone just lying down on the ground or the couches for three minutes can feel great. Now that you’re ready, start thanking. Put the timer on and take turns listing all the things you are thankful for that can fit into 30 seconds. Just a list of nouns: flowers, snow, chocolate, warm socks, my pillow, singing, cooking, or even reading. Alternatively, everyone can make a list or a drawing of five wonderful things from today.
Another way to do this is to send one text a day to someone and thank them for being them or to let them know what you’ve learned from them.
Body chemistry changes when we spend time in gratitude. See what you notice.
Get away from relatives.
This one is a bit more specific. If you have relatives coming to stay at your home, plan times when you take the kids out and leave the relatives at home (or if your kids like the relatives, leave them, and get out on your own). Do this at least once a day and let them know about it in advance.
“I know that my kids and/or I really need some quiet time to be at our/my best with everyone the rest of the time. So, I’ll get breakfast ready, then I’m heading out for 90 minutes. I’ll be back and ready to do something with you at lunch and we’ll have the rest of the day together. Thanks for understanding.”
This time can be spent getting groceries, exercising, visiting a friend – whatever you need. When we get intentional and communicate it clearly, we don’t end up feeling stuck later.
What else do you need this holiday season?
Dreamwork makes the team work. What I mean by that is a little time in advance – dreaming about how to look after ourselves and what could make life feel easier – allows us time to plan for it, communicate it, and make it happen. Knowing that we’ve done this can leave us feeling less resentful to those around us and will help us to get the rest we need to make the time spent with our family much more enjoyable.
Now that you’ve started thinking this way, why not do it all year-round?
Author, blogger, podcast host and parenting expert, Julie Freedman Smith has been supporting parents across North America for 20 years. Through her company JFS Parent Education, she helps parents find relief from their everyday parenting challenges. Want to know how she can help you? Email her today: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
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