A Teachable Moment: Be an Alcohol Role Model This December

Written by Dr. Susan Bartell

It's time to get into the holiday spirit-parties, gifts and, of course eggnog and other alcoholic beverages. Therefore, this season offers an excellent opportunity to consider whether we are communicating the very best, healthiest messages to our children about drinking alcohol. After all, research continues to support the idea that kids and teens are more influenced by their parents that by anyone else - even peers. 

Alcohol typically flows freely at holiday gatherings, and whether or not you realize it, your child, beginning at about 5-years old and continuing well into their 20's, is watching how you behave around alcohol. Their observations and experiences with you will influence their own relationship with alcohol. Therefore, your behavior can have either a positive or negative impact on your child's alcohol consumption.         

There are several important ways in which you can have a powerful and positive impact on your child's behavior around alcohol. Consider the following:

• Never, ever drive after drinking alcohol, even if you are stone-cold sober and your last drink was hours earlier. Your child (especially teens) will not understand that you might be fine to drive. He will only attend to the fact that you drank, and now you are driving. Good decision making is not a skill that is fully developed until one's mid 20's, so, after watching you,  your teen may think that it is fine for him to drink and drive too. 
   
• Don't get drunk in the presence of your child or teen. You may think that you are behaving normally (all drunk people do), but in reality, your behavior will likely embarrass your child and also teach her that it is okay to get drunk. Save your heavy drinking for adult-only parties.
  
  
•  Save conversations about "how much I drank last night" for when your child or teen is not within earshot-not even when she is sleeping. Even when you think your child isn't listening, she is! Even if you think that she is sleeping, she may be listening through the walls. Your conversation with another adult about 'how crazy the party was' will glorify the use of alcohol and make it much more likely that your child will choose alcohol as the go-to way to party.
  
  
•  Don't hide stories that you learn about how alcohol caused a serious accident, or even about how drinking made someone look like a fool. This information will keep kids thinking about the ways that alcohol can be negative, and it will act as a deterrent to him drinking too much.

I wish you and your children a happy and, most of all, a very, very safe holiday season.

Dr. Susan Bartell is a nationally recognized child and parenting psychologist and author. You can learn more about her at drsusanbartell.com

Editor's Note: It's important to present alcohol in context. While it's never okay to drink to excess, or binge drink at a party, it is socially acceptable and even pleasant to enjoy a glass of wine with friends or family during dinner. It's essential that your children understand the difference between "drinking" and "having something to drink." One is a harmful activity, the other is part of a larger social gathering, done responsibly and in moderation. Keep dialogue open, calm and responsive through all ages and stages, and your teens will feel more comfortable bringing up their questions and concerns to you once they are old enough to be exposed to alcohol in peer settings.