"Speak up! I can’t hear you!" boomed my seventh grade Life Science teacher from the back of the room. To this day, I vividly recall how the words I practiced at home stubbornly clung to the back of my throat and only agreed to tumble out in mutters. Standing frozen in front of my staring peers, I wanted to dissolve into the floor.
75 per cent of people suffer from public speaking anxiety, leading to sleepless nights before presentations and missed opportunities in attempts to avoid public speaking situations. While organizations like Toastmasters help adults conquer their fears, you can help your youngster as early as the preschool years nurture the confidence to express themselves without fear.
“Public speaking is a skill that is rarely taught, but is so valuable in the adult world,” says Katherine Pebley O’Neal, a fifth grade teacher and author of the children’s book Public Speaking: 7 Steps to Writing and Delivering a Great Speech.
“If we teach our young students how to engage an audience with confidence, they can use the skills to enhance and benefit any profession they choose.”
Flutters of fear
Why is public speaking scary? “It’s a fear of failure,” says Sarah L. Cook, co-author of The Parents’ Guide to Raising CEO Kids.
“It’s a fear of public rejection. Are people going to laugh at me? Are they going to boo me? Are they going to ignore me?”
As peers become more important, fear of the spotlight can grow. Public speaking anxiety can cramp a child’s self-esteem and confidence. Physical signs of limelight-related stress include uncontrollable shaking, hyperventilating, sweating, flushed face and even short-term memory loss.
Spread steady wings
Children who learn to communicate effectively and exude confidence are more likely to enjoy positive relationships and take on leadership roles. And, in today’s high-tech environment, kids will need to hone communication skills across mediums.
“Things are changing in our educational paradigm where it’s not just go to school and get a job,” says Cook.
“Kids need to have some entrepreneurial skills to even land a job. They need to be able to engage with people confidently. Public speaking allows them to show that confidence.”
More employers now conduct video interviews or ask job candidates to turn in video introductions. Despite our society’s growing reliance on text-talk, our kids must still learn how to speak on the phone effectively, present in front of a group, video conference and communicate professionally to audiences across social media.
Turn tummy-tumbling jitters into engaging energy
Use technology. A child’s first and friendliest audiences include their family and friends. Inviting your child to talk on the phone or the webcam to relatives can ease even a shy child’s initial communication inhibitions. Also use your video camera and ask your kids questions. This strategy helps kids get comfortable in front of a camera.
Open the floor at mealtime. Suggest each member of your family take turns reciting a joke, story, prayer or poem during dinner. Listen carefully to your kids and acknowledge their efforts. When a young child feels listened to, their confidence in expressing themselves blossoms.
Encourage show-and-tell. Most kids love to take something meaningful to them and share it with their friends. Show-and-tell is an excellent introduction to public speaking in a friendly group setting.
Seek out organized opportunities. Depending on your child’s interests, enrol them in activities like drama, scouting, science fairs or 4-H. These activities offer leadership roles in a supportive environment that require participants to get in front of an audience.
Practice, practice, practice. Preparation and practice is necessary to succeed. By writing out what they’d like to say ahead of time and creating visual aids, kids can learn to organize their thoughts.
“And if they can present their information with pizzazz, the entire class will actually learn something from their efforts,” says O’Neal.
Your child will have more fun presenting if their audience is engaged too.
Encourage your kids to practice their presentations ahead of time, whether in front of a mirror, the family or a video camera.
“Parents can boost confidence by listening to their child practice his or her speech many times. They can remind their child to make eye contact and to smile,” says O’Neal.
“The final two or three run-throughs before the performance should be met with only praise.”
A true phobia?
Nervousness before a presentation is normal, but if your child is paralyzed with fear, skipping classes and avoiding extracurricular activities that require public speaking, consult with a child psychologist. Cognitive behavioral techniques like challenging negative thinking, breathing and relaxation exercises and supportive coaching can help.
Some Toastmasters clubs allow children to take part with their parents. Toastmasters is an international, non-profit organization that teaches public speaking and leaderships skills. The organization also offers a youth leadership conference for teens. For more information, visit www.toastmasters.org.
With practice, freelance journalist Christa eventually overcame her public speaking anxieties. She is the author of Happy, Healthy & Hyperconnected: Raise a Thoughtful Communicator in a Digital World.
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