PCA 2020

The 1, 2, 3's of Meeting New People

As a single parent, meeting new people can seem like a daunting task. In our busy lives, it can sometimes feel like we are the only single person in our group of friends, or like all of the ‘good ones’ are taken. But this simply isn’t true, and there are hundreds of thousands of people out there who feel the same way that you do. So, where are they?

Here are three simple things that you can do to increase your chances of meeting new people:

1. Break your routine - As a single parent, there are definitely times that a routine can save your sanity. But other times, it could be limiting your social life. Most of us live the majority of our lives on quite a small train track - going to the same bank, gym, grocery store, library, coffee shop and post office, week after week, year after year. Familiarity is comforting, and easy. As a result, we inevitably see the same people over and over again, and often operate on autopilot for a large portion of our days.

As the saying goes: “In order to get something you’ve never had before, you have to do something you’ve never done before.” Try something new - even something small, like a new coffee shop. Go suburban off-roading, and keep your eyes open. You never know what, or who, you might find.

2. Smile - We’re often thinking about work, bills or how we’d give our left arm for a nap, and don’t realize that we are frowning and even scowling at times - but other people will notice it. Be aware of the people around you, and try to make eye contact and smile. It instantly changes your face from a closed door to an open one. Most of the time, you’ll get a smile in return. It’s always appropriate, appreciated and is one of the easiest ways to make someone’s day, including yours.

3. Say “yes” - Sometimes we let little opportunities pass us by without even knowing it. Overthinking things or being overcautious might seem like a good way to protect our hearts, but it’s also closing our hearts off to new things. Practice saying “yes” to things - it’s more fun than saying “no.”

Do you want to join us on Friday night to go watch our friend’s band? Yes.

You should let me babysit Aiden for you sometime so you can get out. Yes.

I’d like to introduce you to my co-worker; I think you guys would hit it off. Yes.

Would you like to go for coffee sometime? Yes.

Will you come to this Speed Dating thing with me? I don’t want to go alone! Yes. 

We’re having a few people over for dinner tonight. Can you come? Yes. 

Of course, you can follow up the “yes” with anything you like, such as: “I have an early morning, but I’d love an iced tea.” Leading with a “yes,” instead of an, “I don’t know” or “I shouldn’t” will put a more positive spin on any interaction. Sometimes, certain events or situations may seem slightly out of our comfort zone, and that is exactly the place that you want to go to meet new people. A little change can have an amazing ripple effect. Give it a try.

The best way to increase your chances of meeting someone with whom you really connect is to meet a lot of people. Play the odds and get out and socialize as much as possible, and you’ll increase your chances of making a new friend or romantic partner. People meet every day, and not just in bars or on dating sites. You can meet someone anywhere from the auto repair shop to the veterinarian’s office. Get dressed, go out and do things that you enjoy, and keep your head up. When you open yourself up to it, you’ll be surprised at how the universe meets you half-way.

Eve is a Maritimer with an incurable case of wanderlust who has now put down roots in Calgary with her three lovely daughters. An avid writer from the time she could hold a pencil, she is an enthusiast enthusiast, and enjoys bringing people together as a matchmaker/love ninja at modernblinddates.com

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