I imagine you hope that when you get to your place of birth in labor that all the people around you will say all the right things and make suggestions that are exactly perfect and in line with your birth plan.
However, unfortunately, that is not always the case. Sometimes they will say things that confuse you, or negatively distract you, or discourage you. Sometimes they will suggest options you have questions about, or are unsure about, or that you may not even need. So, it becomes very important to know how to be your best advocate during your birth process. Here are a few suggestions to help.
Know all your options in birth. It is very important that you educate yourself on the many options in childbirth. Make sure that you take the time to join a good prenatal class and do some additional reading on the various topics such as normal process of labor and possible interventions and medications so that you are able to engage effectively in the decision-making process in your own birth. The more you know the better prepared you will be to ask good questions and work effectively with your care team to make the right decisions for you.
Take time to make a birth plan. When you go over the options in birth and your preferences for your labor with your birth partner, you will be creating a blueprint for what kind of birth you are hoping to achieve. When you know what you are hoping for, it makes it so much easier to identify when things are not aligning with these preferences. When you can identify these times, you will have the right tools and the right information to then have the conversation with your caregiver to make adjustments.
Be brave and say “no, thank you.” Of course, when we are considering the safety of mom and baby we will always rely on the expertise of our caregiver. However, in most circumstances, decisions being made throughout labor are not affecting safety concerns. Therefore, in these situations if you are not sure, ask. If you need more information to make an effective decision, ask. If you don’t like it or it makes you feel uncomfortable or it is negatively affecting your laboring process, say no! It is okay to say ”no thank you”. This can help ensure that you have a more positive experience throughout your labor.
Empower your birth partner to advocate alongside you. The process of birth takes a lot of energy, physically, emotionally, mentally, and psychologically. If you find yourself in the “labor zone,” you are not always in a space to be advocating for yourself. Advocacy is the most important thing your birth partner can do for you. They will then be the one on top of asking the questions, getting clarity, and sometimes saying “no thank you” on your behalf. So, make plans in pregnancy to best prepare them for this role. Have conversations about what you are hoping for and what you are hoping to avoid so they can know what they are trying to protect for you.
Surround yourself with people that know your plan. It is also a good plan to find a support structure that aligns with the kind of birth you are hoping for. As you build these relationships, you will be developing your wishes and hopes for the kind of birth you are wanting to try for, and you will be communicating with your team these emerging hopes and wishes. With this preparation you will be equipped for your birth with people around you who can support, encourage and remind you of your options. They can also and help facilitate good questioning practices to achieve a safe and empowering birth.
Keeping these five things in mind can help you appropriately prepare for a birth where you can feel supported, heard, and respected, and gives you the tools to advocate for a positive birth experience. This should be everyone’s goal and you should be able to expect to achieve this in your birthing process!
Sharon is a certified doula and childbirth educator with 23 years of experience and has supported over 1500 Calgary and area families on their parenthood journey. She is also the owner of Calgary Birth Essentials, which offers private and small group prenatal classes, birth and postpartum doula support, and breastfeeding and early parenting education. For more information, email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or visit calgarybirthessentials.com.
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