For children and adults alike, change is an inherent part of life. All of us, at various points in time, will likely have to grapple with both minor and major adjustments to our lives and routines. While minor changes - deviations from the daily schedule, a new location for a regular activity, a new coach or babysitter - can place short-term stress on children, major life changes - relocating to a new school, a new house, or a new city, for example - can be significantly disorienting and are likely to require more intensive support, even when the changes are fundamentally positive in nature.
As our children grow, they will be faced with many difficult choices. Each choice they make will determine their success in school, friendships, and their future. Every parent’s goal is to raise kids who make smart decisions. So how do we begin to teach them to make good choices in the moment? The answer is by teaching them self-control. Self-control is defined as the ability to control oneself. In particular, one’s emotions and desires, especially in difficult situations. So, as a parent, how do you go about teaching it to your kids?
“Why do you talk like that?” I heard the question come from behind me as I helped another child in the Sunday school class. “It’s just the way I am,” I heard my sister-in-law wisely answer the curious boy. My sister-in-law, Kara, was born with Cerebral Palsy. She was helping me in the Sunday school classroom that day when one of the kids noticed her speech was different. Kara has been taught to answer, “It’s just the way I am” after years of questions about her differences.
Driving home, you ask your kids what happened at school today. Your son mumbles, “Nothing,” in his casual, I-dare-you-to-ask-for-more-information kind of way. Before you can follow up, your daughter chimes in, “I hate Maddie. She told Sarah she thinks my hair is ugly, and now Sarah won’t let me sit with them at lunch. They’re not my friends anymore. I hate them both.”
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