Parents strive to support children to grow into capable, independent adults. Our children will face many bumps along their journey into adulthood (as we all do), and we want them to be able to manage those troubling times. Part of a parent’s job is to develop resiliency in our teens. One definition of resiliency is “the ability to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions.” If we want resilient teens, then we need to start building up their resiliency while our kids are still kids.
Take a look at your own listening and communication skills if you want your kids to listen to you.
Is your 14-year-old daughter sneaking out of school early to hang out with her friends at the mall? Is your son staying out late with his friends on school nights without keeping in touch with you? The transition from childhood to adulthood can be a tough time. Psychologists often describe the adolescent teen years as a developmental stage of disorientation and discovery. No longer children but not yet adults, teens wrestle with issues such as autonomy and identity. Parents of adolescents may feel frustrated with how to make sense of this phase in their maturing child’s life. What can parents learn about this time in their child’s life? How can parents help their teen through this stage?
Kaori’s eight-year-old daughter, Rin, answered the door one day and found her little Grade 3 friend asking her to go play at the park down the block. The little friend was alone. Kaori replied that they would love to go to the park, and would meet her there in 15 minutes. The friend had a puzzled look on her face when she realized that Rin’s mom was coming to the park too. Kaori wondered whether she was being too protective of her daughter or if she should let her skip off to the park alone with her friend.
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